Early experiences of Bapak

Assalamu alaikum wa rachmat ullahi wa barakatuh. ( Peace be with you all and may the Grace of Almighty God and His Blessing be with you )

Bapak gives praise and thanks to Almighty God that by His Grace Bapak has safely returned to his home country and is now present with you all.

Apparently before Bapak returned home you were somewhat worried about Bapak's well-being because of the news of a Garuda airplane crash near Bombay that caused many casualties.

Brothers and sisters, Bapak feels it necessary to tell you that Subud brothers and sisters abroad had indeed eagerly awaited Bapak's visit there, for, besides wishing to meet Bapak, they hoped Bapak would settle matters that had caused disagreement among helpers and among committee members. Fortunately, by the Grace of Almighty God, Bapak was able to sort out all these matters and solve them satisfactorily.

As for Bapak's journey with his party, the first place to be visited was the Philippines. Bapak met a few members there, for they had only recently started to open members. Nevertheless it was necessary for Bapak to give a talk which could be used as a basis for giving explanations to people who are interested in what the latihan kejiwaan of Subud really is.

According to the report of the helpers there, the people who are interested in joining Subud are mostly men, and there are hardly any women. Indeed in Asia, for instance in the Philippines, Singapore and Japan, the number of women members is usually quite small, whereas in Indonesia the number of women members is almost as large as that of the men members.

Bapak stayed two days and two evenings in the Philippines and then went on to San Francisco, although Bapak was on his way to Lima. However, as he could not in fact fly directly from the Philippines to Lima, Bapak was expected and intercepted by many Subud members in San Francisco and had to follow their wish and spend an evening there.

In San Francisco Bapak held only one informal meeting in the evening. But even so, the members there were happy. In the morning they escorted Bapak and his party to the airport, and after farewells had been said to one another, Bapak left San Francisco for Lima.

Bapak and his party were met by many members in Lima and, after the luggage formalities were over, the party went by cars to the residence of brother Antonio. A meeting was held the same evening and during the following evenings Bapak arranged latihans, testing and talks.

The members there did not seem quite happy, perhaps because not enough of their members had come. But later they did not feel so badly, after Bapak had explained that the latihan kejiwaan of Subud is in fact a receiving and that one cannot rely on a strong will to study it. The latihan kejiwaan of Subud can only be received with patience, sincerity and submission to the Will of Almighty God. Further, Bapak also told them the story of his own experiences long ago, and maybe it is also good for you to hear this story which Bapak told the brothers and sisters in Lima.

In the past Bapak did not want to speak about his receiving, for Bapak still needed proof of what he had received. Actually Bapak should have trusted whatever he had received, but anyway Bapak was still doubtful before seeing proof.

According to Bapak's receiving in the year 1932, there would later be a second world war and at the end of this war Indonesia would become a free country. Bapak would then have to go round the world to bring what Bapak had received, namely this latihan kejiwaan, to people who had the wish to follow the way of the latihan kejiwaan.

At that time Bapak still worked as a civil servant of the Semarang municipality. When Bapak received that he would travel round the world, Bapak felt that it would be impossible for him to do so, for at that time Bapak was an ordinary employee and had no money, and Bapak really felt that there was no possibility of accomplishing this. Bapak felt that it was not even possible for him to travel round the country, let alone travel round the world. Therefore Bapak kept this matter to himself while waiting to see what situations might arise that would prove the truth of what he had received.

After the Power of God had brought Bapak into the sphere of the latihan kejiwaan, it became necessary for him to give up all his work. During the year 1933, in the month of March, Bapak requested his release from his position as an official of the above municipality, and he also gave up all his work in side-jobs with private companies, though Bapak's income from these occupations was not small. When Bapak had given up his work he was without employment in the outer sense, but it was willed that Bapak should continuously receive the latihan kejiwaan.

Bapak obeyed this command, even though it was hard for him, but he stopped all his work because he had been given an understanding of what was to come. Bapak felt rather despondent when he was no longer working and not earning any money, not even a cent, especially at times when he was out walking and saw things which he had previously been able to buy for the needs of his family. Bapak felt a heaviness of heart rising and falling within him. But thanks to God, Who had strengthened Bapak's inner-self, his inner-feelings, which were sometimes weak, were transformed and became strong, so that the feeling of heaviness in his heart soon disappeared. In short, Bapak passed through many trials at this time of his life but, by the Grace of God, the All-Loving and All-Compassionate, he felt as though all these things were of no importance. Furthermore, Bapak's endurance was increased by all that happened in the latihan kejiwaan. Therefore at that time and from then on Bapak only attended to the brothers who wished to follow the latihan kejiwaan as Bapak did. As for the food and clothing which Bapak needed for life in this world, by the Grace of God Bapak was just able to manage.

By the Grace of Almighty God Bapak and his family were able to survive in such a condition until the year 1945; that is, when the second world war ended and Indonesia became a free country. In the year 1945 Bapak and his family moved to Jogjakarta, where Bapak worked in the Government as chief of the financial section of the Army Medical Corps, and every Thursday and Saturday, in the evening, Bapak opened brothers who wished to follow the latihan kejiwaan. At the beginning of the year 1948 Bapak asked to resign from his position, because he felt that working as a soldier was not in accordance with Bapak's jiwa (inner-force). Bapak then set up an enterprise as a building contractor, assisted by brothers who were experts in this field and who had received the latihan kejiwaan.

Bapak wishes to mention here that when he was in Jogjakarta and worked there he was always waiting for the opportunity to find a way to go abroad, as he had been commanded to do when he was still at Semarang in the year 1933.

Indeed all the messages received by Bapak had already proved true: but Bapak had not yet received proof of the truth of the message that after the second world war and after the liberation of Indonesia Bapak would be required to go abroad in order to spread the latihan kejiwaan. Even so, Bapak firmly believed that he would do this and that it was only a matter of waiting for the best time.

In the beginning of the year 1954 Bapak felt that he had to move to Jakarta and so Bapak moved there immediately. In Jakarta, Bapak and his family stayed at Kebajoran Baru [a suburb of Jakarta], but soon Bapak moved from there to jalan jawa [a street in Jakarta]. Only after Bapak had moved to Jakarta did the expected time come, that is, the time when it really became possible for Bapak to go abroad and there open and guide people who wished to follow the latihan kejiwaan.

Bapak made several journeys abroad with the result that the latihan kejiwaan of Subud spread widely and was followed by brothers and sisters of various races, countries and religions.

This, brothers and sisters, was the proof of what Bapak had received long before and which Bapak had felt, at the time of receiving it, was something that could not possibly come about. And now, since everything has come true, Bapak feels it is necessary to tell you about what Bapak had received and experienced in the past; but Bapak will tell you only what is necessary.

Indeed, brothers and sisters, an important event certainly has a history. It is the more so with the event of the coming into existence of the Latihan kejiwaan of Subud, which has made it possible for man to receive purification of his inner feeling and improvement of his jiwa towards perfection in accordance with the will of Almighty God. It certainly has a history.

As for the reason why it is Bapak who became the pioneer in the field of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, Bapak himself does not know the answer, only Almighty God knows, Who knows all things.

However, if there is a connection between this event and Bapak, Bapak can say that it so happened that Bapak was born the same day, the same month and year as the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

It is only by coincidence, brothers and sisters - if Bapak tells you - that Bapak was born at day-break, at 4.30 a.m. in the morning, and the day and the time were the same as at the birth of the Prophet Muhammad. Bapak's birth, regarding time, day, month and year, was the same. This is just a coincidence, it is not that it was arranged that Bapak should be born at the same time. Bapak does not understand it. It just happened that the births took place at the same time. But Bapak is not the Prophet Muhammad; Bapak is just Bapak Muhammad-Subuh, a poor man, a humble man, a man who is liable to fall sick.

As for the date, month and year of the Christian calendar, Bapak was born on the 22nd of June, 1901, in the village of Kedungjati, in the county of Grobogan, in the Semarang area, in Central Java, just at the time when Mount Kelut erupted heavily.

Bapak was born at dawn, about five o'clock in the morning, that is, at the time when the Moslems offer their morning prayer. Just after he was born, forty cannon shots were fired to mark the beginning of the Grebeg Sekatan festival, for people say that Grebeg Sekatan is the time determined as the birth time of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w., that is, in the month of Maulud, in the year Dhal [according to the Islamic calendar].

Bapak was given the name Soekarno by his grandfather. But with that name Bapak was always ill, and therefore his name was soon changed to another name, Muhammad-Subuh, to correspond with the time of Bapak's birth which was at subuh (dawn). After Bapak's name was changed to Muhammad-Subuh he was always healthy and seldom fell ill.

Bapak's father was called Chasidi. During his lifetime he worked as an officer of a railway company and after he retired he worked on his own farm as a farmer. Bapak's late father was a descendant (grandson) of Kiaji Muhammad Abubakar, or, originally, Pangeran (meaning "prince") Sajid Muhammad Abubakar. It was told that he came from Jogjakarta, in Central Java.

Bapak's mother's name is Siti Kursinah. She is a descendant of Pangeran (Prince) Purbokusumo, a descendant of Sunan Kalijogo of Kadilangu Demak.

When Bapak was a child he already experienced mysterious phenomena, or clairvoyance. Often when Bapak saw people who were quarrelling or fighting he felt pain in his body, and later when Bapak had grown up and he wished to see a cinema or a stage performance, he would feel very cold and shiver.

Later, when Bapak grew up, a man suddenly appeared - yet he was not a man, as Bapak knew because it was in the middle of the night, when Bapak was asleep. Bapak was then fifteen years old. And this man awakened Bapak. Bapak awoke and saw someone of middle age or older, dressed all in black, carrying a staff. He said to me, to Bapak:

"Remember, when you are thirty-two years old, you will be called by Almighty God".

Having said this he disappeared. Bapak could not sleep again after that, because at thirty-two Bapak would still be young. What was the use of studying, what was the use of living here any longer. Why should I trouble myself to study if I would have to die at 32, for according to Bapak's understanding to be called by God meant to die.

But later on Bapak forgot about it and Bapak then worked, and during that period Bapak worked and studied. That means, when Bapak was still young he very much liked to learn and to study. When he was about 18 years old, Bapak started to work for a railway company in Surabaja, and finally he moved to Semarang and worked for the Municipality.

When he was young, Bapak was very fond of going to elderly people, or gurus of spiritual matters, that is, of a spiritual teaching that can bring about nobility in our life after death. But these elderly people did not give much and they were, rather, not inclined to give anything to Bapak because they said that Bapak ought not to come to them to be taught as he would in the end be able to receive directly from the Grace of Almighty God.

Among the elderly people mentioned above, there was a Kiaji (guru) called Kiaji Abdurrachman, of the village of Jatirogo, in Central Java. His teaching originated from Sunan Ampel, a Wali (a man who has received the perfect human state) who came from Mekkah. Bapak did not re­ceive very much from Kiaji Abdurrachman. On the contrary, the late Kiaji Abdurrachman often said that Bapak ought not to come to him to be taught because Bapak would finally be able to receive directly from Rasul Allah (The Prophet of Allah).

This explanation of the late Kiaji Abdurrachman was heard by his disciples who were present at the time. Therefore, there were quite a number of his pupils who then approached Bapak with the aim of getting whatever Bapak had received from the Grace of Almighty God. Whereas, at that time, Bapak felt that he had not received anything yet. But fortunately not very long after this, that is in 1930, Bapak was graced by Almighty God.

During the year 1924, besides doing his work as an official of the Semarang municipality. Bapak studied bookkeeping three evenings each week. Every evening, Bapak used to close his books when it was already past 12 o'clock at night, and then go for a walk in order to clear his brain and refresh himself, after the concentration of his work.

One night, on his way home from such a walk, just in front of the hospital (called the Centrale BurgerlijheZiekenhuis) which was in course of being built, suddenly there was a light from above. Bapak was very startled, because it was a brilliant light, comparable to that of mid­day.

Instantly Bapak looked up and it appeared like the sun falling on Bapak. After Bapak saw the light, the sun fell upon Bapak's head. The sun falling upon Bapak's head then penetrated into Bapak. Bapak felt his whole body shaking strongly and his chest was trembling. Bapak felt that this was probably the onset of an illness called "broerte" in Dutch - that is, a heart attack - and Bapak felt very shaken indeed.

Fortunately, the place where Bapak had this experience was very near to his house, only about three hundred metres away. Bapak hurried home, because he thought he was having a heart attack which might cause his death. So on coming to his house, Bapak knocked at the door, and Bapak's mother came quickly to open it. Apparently Bapak's mother noticed that something had happened to Bapak and she asked:

"Why are you so pale?"

Bapak answered: "It is nothing",

and quickly went into his bed­room. There Bapak prepared himself, lay down on his bed and surrendered himself to Almighty God, not knowing what would happen to him

.

When he was ready, Bapak fell asleep; he did not die. It was strange that Bapak did not die at that time, but he saw that his whole self was completely filled with light full of radiance like electric wires; Bapak did not understand what this meant, and just let it happen. Bapak was not frightened, but it seemed rather strange, because the light was inside myself. And Bapak did not see the light here only (gestures), but Bapak could see it also in his head. It lasted only for a minute or less and then disappeared. When the light had gone, Bapak was awakened from his sleep. "Oh, what has awakened me?" But Bapak did not feel afraid, no, there was only a feeling of happiness and peace when Bapak was awakened.

Awake - rise - walk. Bapak arose, but not by his will. It so happened that in Bapak's house there was a room set aside for studying, and so it did not have much furniture and not many articles in it. He was made to walk to the room in which he usually prayed.

When Bapak got there, he performed the solat with just two raka'ats and when Bapak had finished the Ibadat, he was turned around and his walking went on of itself. Bapak wondered who was making him walk. But there was no one to ask at that time because Bapak was all alone. He asked people but no one knew what this was. When Bapak went back to his bedroom, he felt quite normal again, went back to bed and he went to sleep again.

Of course Bapak felt that something strange was happening to him, because he had never felt like this before; but even so, Bapak was quite calm and conscious in his feelings and not at all frightened or worried; on the contrary he felt truly surrendered to the Power of Almighty God.

So it went on every night. It can be said that Bapak had a thousand nights of latihan like this. So, if you ask what is the origin of Bapak's latihan kejiwaan, whether Bapak had a human teacher, it was not at all so, brothers and sisters. Bapak did not obtain this from any man. It was conceived from within Bapak himself, and Bapak did not understand why it happened to him in this way, that he was awakened from sleep and enabled to receive the latihan.

During the time that Bapak was receiving and following this spontaneous latihan, his heart and mind, as well as his imagination and thinking, were quiet, but at the same time he always had a feeling of awareness and the repetition of "Allah, Allah, Allah". Bapak then realised that the presence of this latihan obliterated the influence of the nafsu, heart and mind, that fills the imagination and thoughts. Because of this, as long as Bapak was receiving and following the latihan, he was conscious and aware that his heart and mind were like spectators at a play, which one can watch and feel, but had no power to control or change.

As to the content of what Bapak experienced in these thousand nights, Bapak considers it not yet necessary to tell you about that. It is enough for now, for if Bapak would tell you more, it would seem like the story of "The Thousand and One Nights", and then it would only feel or seem to you like a fantasy. It is better to speak only of that which is in accordance with your own experience up to now; namely, the movement of life which you have received and which we call the latihan kejiwaan.

In the following year Bapak spoke to the members in Lima, Peru - in a Talk of which there is no recording - and told them something of his receiving during the thousand nights. On his return from that world journey, in Cilandak, on 9th June 1968, Bapak recounted what he had said in Lima and continued the story of his experiences. This further account now follows.

From then on something like this, but constantly changing in its nature, happened to Bapak every evening. Then, one evening while Bapak was standing in his room to receive the latihan kedjiwaan as usual, the room looked like an open space; in addition, Bapak saw a wide ocean in front of him, and between Bapak and the edge of the sea there was a huge dike, and just in front of himself, Bapak saw an irrigation canal with a lock. At that moment Bapak was startled and asked within himself: what does this mean? Then Bapak felt as if he were being pushed forward, and at the same time Bapak's mouth was opened and the lock-gate opened too, and instantly the sea-water flowed into Bapak's mouth. In a moment, like the twinkling of an eye, Bapak felt full to belching and really smelt the smell of the sea-water. Strangely enough, the ocean which had looked full of water and very wide was emptied in no time. The scene then disappeared from Bapak's view, and Bapak found himself back in his room in which he usually received the latihan kedjiwaan.

After this strange experience Bapak still felt the need to receive and practise the latihan, now called the latihan kedjiwaan, in which he received various kinds of experiences. However, Bapak feels it is not necessary to tell you everything. So Bapak only tells you what he feels necessary.

Another time, when Bapak was receiving and practising the latihan as usual, he suddenly felt as though he were not in the room, and in front of himself Bapak saw someone coming towards him. This man was wearing garments like those of olden days; that is, he wore a robe and turban and carried a spear. Bapak felt calm at that time and surrendered to the Power of Almighty God, and so he did not pay heed to what was going to be done to him by this man.

The man ordered Bapak to open the pajama jacket which Bapak wore, and when Bapak had done this, the man immediately thrust his spear into Bapak's chest. Bapak felt the stab which hurt very much, but he was not able to avoid it or even scream. Then the spear was pulled out and Bapak saw a clot of blood as large as a match box at the spear point. The man threw the clot of blood far away and took something out of the pocket of his robe. Bapak saw that in his hand he held something bright and sparkling, as large as a duck's egg. He quickly put this into the hole in Bapak's chest and, after closing it up, he immediately vanished from Bapak's sight. Strangely, as soon as he had gone Bapak's chest felt clear and wide and his inner feeling felt very sensitive, clean and calm; and Bapak's faith in the presence of the Power of Almighty God grew stronger.

One evening several months later, after his prayers, Bapak was sitting down while reciting the dhikir ["lailla-haillalla. laillahaillallla . . ."] when there fell into Bapak's lap a book the size of a world atlas. Bapak touched the book and saw that it was a real book. Then Bapak opened the cover and looked at the first page: there was a picture of a man wearing a turban and robe, and underneath there was something written in Arabic. Bapak found it difficult to read, but then at that very moment the script was changed into Latin letters and Bapak was then able to read it clearly:

"Prophet Muhammad Messenger of God".

And it was strange that when Bapak read the name he saw the picture smiling and nodding at him. Bapak understood then that it was a picture of the Prophet Muhammad.

Bapak turned quickly to the second page, and there he saw a picture of men and women. At first it looked like a picture, but then the people in the picture began to move. They sat down and all of them praised God together, asking for forgiveness. The people in the picture did not look like people of only one race but were clearly from various lands and races, as shown in the different colours of their skins.

Bapak quickly turned over to another page, and this showed illustrations of other people, also of different colours. And the people in this picture also looked alive; some were weeping, some were laughing, some were calling out for forgiveness for their sins. Then Bapak closed the book and held it tightly. But what happened was that the book disappeared from Bapak's lap and entered into his chest. Then Bapak felt as if his chest was fully loaded with something. But that too soon disappeared and then Bapak's chest felt free as before.

Some time later, while Bapak was sitting one evening reciting repeatedly "la illahaillalla ..." a book again fell into his lap, this time as thick as a Van Dalen dictionary. Bapak opened the book quickly, but it only consisted of empty pages. Bapak was quite disappointed: why does this thick book not contain a single word? Suddenly, on the first page Bapak saw words in Indonesian which meant:

"In these pages will be written everything you wish to know".

Of course Bapak immediately asked questions about many things, and everything Bapak asked was answered on these pages. Moreover, Bapak was told that the book would soon disappear and enter Bapak's body. And truly, the book immediately disappeared from Bapak's lap.

Bapak told this story to the Subud members in Lima so that they would know the history of the latihan kedjiwaan which we later called the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

Coming back to the story Bapak told earlier: after Bapak had received the book the size of a dictionary while doing the dhikir ["laillahaillalla . . ."] Bapak followed the way of the latihan kejiwaan every evening and always received various kinds of experiences in it.

Bapak does not feel it is necessary to tell you about the experiences which Bapak received after the book was given to him, because it takes up too much time. However, Bapak feels it is necessary to tell you that in the year 1932, when - according to Islamic time calculation - Bapak was 32 years old, one evening at about 9.30 p.m. (maybe this happened on 22nd June 1932) Bapak's body felt weak, his imagination, heart and mind became empty, his way of breathing was peculiar and Bapak felt cold and very small as if his soul wanted to fly and leave his body. Suddenly, Bapak was aware that the time had come when Bapak was to be called by Almighty God, as had been written in the pages of the thick book Bapak had received earlier.

Therefore Bapak at once prepared himself to surrender to the Power of Almighty God. But first Bapak kissed his children who were sleeping. Then Bapak felt his body from the navel upward pulled far to the North and from the navel downward pulled far to the South. At the same time Bapak's head and legs felt cold. Bapak was aware that the cold feeling in his head was like being at the North Pole, and the cold feeling of his legs was like being at the South Pole. Then Bapak felt his chest being opened up and widened out round about himself to a round shape. After that, Bapak felt movements and a moment later he felt freed from everything he had left behind, that is, the earth where he lived, and he felt himself going through the sky at an unimaginable speed.

On his journey Bapak constantly uttered "Allah Hu-Akbar, Allah Hu-Akbar, Allah Hu-Akbar" with complete and clear awareness and also an alive inner feeling throughout. For instance, Bapak felt the air outside passing and penetrating him. In short, by the Grace of God, if Bapak may say so, while on this journey he was made to know and to see everything beyond human understanding. Bapak does not feel it necessary, however, to relate here everything Bapak experienced on this journey, because whoever hears it may take it to be a mere fantasy.

However, what Bapak feels necessary to tell you is this: when Bapak returned from the journey he suddenly saw that it was dark. Then Bapak understood that at that moment he had entered the sphere of the earth. Bapak's journey continued, but from that moment on it went more slowly. Strangely, when Bapak wanted to go fast he went fast, but when he wanted to go slowly, he went slowly. So from then on Bapak made his return journey to the earth slowly, and Bapak saw and felt his own form complete and ordinary as it was before going on this journey.

Bapak stopped on his journey approximately five kilometres distant from the earth, because he wanted to know what the earth he was approaching looked like. Immediately Bapak had a strange feeling because what was visible far down below seemed to be stars of various colours and lights. But when Bapak looked more carefully he saw that the lights that were shining were not stars in the sky but were all the electric lights round about the town of Semarang. Bapak went further on his journey and slowly descended until he was above his house.

When he was there Bapak wondered how to enter, because with the coarse body it would ordinarily be impossible to enter into a place that had 10 entrance or opening. While Bapak was wondering about this, he suddenly entered quite easily and stood on the floor of the room in which he usually did the latihan. Bapak looked at the clock on the wall which showed 4.25, and from there he went to his bed where he saw Bapak's body in the state of someone sleeping. He was amazed that in the middle of his forehead he saw a radiant light shining, bright is the morning star. Then Bapak opened the mosquito net and approached his body lying in bed and kissed it.

After this Bapak's eyes opened and soon his consciousness as a man fully returned. Bapak wanted to get up right away, but could not do it, because his body still felt very cold. After one or two minutes, however, Bapak was able to get up and go to the clock which he had looked at before. At that time he wall clock showed exactly 4.30, and strangely, the room had a fragrant smell. Then Bapak performed his morning prayer.

When the prayer was ended Bapak recited the dhikir. Bapak's mother heard that Bapak had got up from sleep and, after she had prayed her morning prayer, she went to see Bapak. She whispered,

"May I tell you an experience I had last night?"

Bapak said,

"Yes please, Ibu, whatever you wish to tell."

"At midnight", said Bapak's mother,

"I was awakened from sleep. I sat up and searched with my feet for my sandals, because my eyes were still closed, not yet open. But for a long time my feet could not find the sandals, so that I had to open my eyes. I was very frightened when I saw the room almost entirely filled with light from electric light bulbs. But when I looked properly, the light did not, in fact, come from electric lights. The lights were all stars shining in the sky. Then I looked down, and below me there was open air, so at that moment I felt I was in the sky, and my body felt cold and I was frightened. I gave up my intention to find my sandals, quickly lay down on the mattress and went to sleep again. I have just got up and, after finishing my ablution and prayer, I felt brave enough to come to you because I saw that you are here and the condition of the room is no longer as I saw it last night."

This is the story which Bapak's mother told Bapak. It seemed that the experience of Bapak's mother was a kind of evidence for her to witness what happened to Bapak during that night. Bapak told the above story to the Subud members in Lima, Colombia, Mexico, Canada and in other countries which Bapak visited. It seemed that on hearing this story from Bapak they felt more convinced that the latihan kejiwaan of Subud is truly a latihan which is a gift from Almighty God for people who truly have faith in His Greatness and who truly have patience, submission and sincerity in surrendering to His Will.

This story enabled the helpers and committee members in the centers of the various countries, who had been quarrelling among themselves, each claiming to be right in their way of carrying out their responsibilities, to put things right, and in addition they were also able to feel their need for harmony and mutual appreciation, mutual respect and mutual help. Bapak hopes that it will be like that also for the brothers and sisters here. If you ask why Bapak only now speaks about the events connected with the coming of the latihan kejiwaan and about Bapak's earlier experiences in the latihan kejiwaan, it is because Bapak first wanted to have proof of the truth of the messages he had received before. Now, since the indications received by Bapak have become a reality and Bapak has actually made the journey abroad and, moreover, has traveled round the world and visited various countries where many brothers and sisters are following the ways of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, Bapak feels he can speak about these experiences.

When the messages received earlier by Bapak proved true, Bapak remembered the book like a world atlas, containing pictures of people of various races who were mingled together and who made movements and sounds: they uttered all sorts of sounds, some laughed, some wept, some grumbled. Clearly, this book had predicted that Bapak would later meet people from various countries, races and religions, and that these people would really follow the way of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud; and now it is clear that Bapak's receiving was true.

This is the story of how the latihan kejiwaan of Subud came into existence, a story which, of course, is closely related to Bapak himself who, by the Grace of God, is willed to be a channel for God's Grace to every adult of the various races and religions who is sincerely willing to receive and follow the way of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

In the beginning, Bapak himself did not expect that he would be able to receive so great a Grace from Almighty God because, according to the stories told about man, this can be received only by Prophets and Messengers of Almighty God, whereas Bapak is just an ordinary man, born in this present century. Therefore what happened to Bapak, as related above, is something to be left to God Who is All-Knowing about all things. And since this was brought about in Bapak by God, Bapak is only obliged to persevere and receive God's gift, which it is fitting for Bapak to receive with patience, trust and sincere submission. It is just for this that Bapak is being trained, guided and directed by the Power of God, which permeates the inner as well as the outer self, in being aware of his life according to the Will of Almighty God.

At the time when Bapak received, he was told among other things that after another great war, the Second World War, he would have to travel round the world and make this latihan known to mankind. And mankind - though not everybody - would accept it and accept that what Bapak brought did truly come from Almighty God.

Bapak wondered at the time how this could be possible, for to travel round the world certainly costs no small sum, and at that time he had no money. At least, he had about enough to travel round Java, just round Indonesia, supposing he had to. But if it had been a matter of going round the world, that would have been impossible. He was told he would go round and round the world. Bapak only half believed it; he did not disbelieve but felt he could not quite accept it. It was still a case of 'Well yes, I only hope I may see it come true'.

That was still in the year 1932, whereas not until 1939, seven years later, did the Second World War begin. In 1932 Bapak had by no means envisaged a second world war; then it came. Bapak felt that all this fitted in, only how would it be possible for him to go round the world afterwards? Maybe later on someone would appear and provide the means for Bapak to do so.

Then, after the Second World War, such a person did appear, a man who was simply used by God as an instrument. What happened was not because of the man himself; it all came from God.

At the time when Bapak moved to Jogja, a foreigner named Husein Rofe happened to be there. Bapak will tell you about him. He originally came from this country, England. This Rofe was a seeker, and while pursuing his search he earned his living by giving English lessons. Eventually he spoke of his search to one of his pupils, telling him that the real reason he had come to Jogja was to look for someone who had real knowledge; if it was just a matter of religion he was not interested, since he was himself fluent in Arabic and well able to read the Qur'an.

So, plainly, Rofe was already tired of that and did not want it. What he sought was evidence. His pupil told him such a man did exist, and asked whether Rofe would like to have a guru (teacher), because this man happened to be the pupil's guru. Rofe asked to be taken to meet him.

The pupil brought Rofe to Bapak's house and introduced him. Bapak asked what had brought him there, and Rofe said he very much wished to learn from Bapak. 'Oh', said Bapak, 'I have no knowledge; the knowledge is God's. I am merely someone who can give you this contact if you truly desire it'. Rofe said he did indeed desire it, and he seemed very eager.

Bapak opened Rofe. He opened him at once, and Rofe performed the sembahjang (Islamic praying with prostrations). After worshipping, he began to spin round and round while uttering sounds like 'Wo-ong, wo-ong, wo-ong'. Then he fell to the floor and sat there. Bapak stopped him.

Bapak then asked him how was it, what had he received. This, he said, was exactly what he had come from England to Indonesia to look for. He had gone off course in going to Bali, where he saw the Balinese doing various things he did not want. He came back and met all the kiaji (holy men) of the Muslim faith - Muhammadiyah and Ahmadiyah. They all produced reasoned proof from the Qur'an, but he said there was no need to tell him those things, because he had already read them for himself. They asked him what, then, was he looking for. Rofe told them he was looking for the content; if any content did indeed exist, that was what he sought above all else.

That was how it began. Days, weeks, months went by, and Rofe was making reasonable progress; once he had received, he received quite well. But Rofe had a very strange character. He never felt at home or contented anywhere. He always wanted to keep moving, moving, moving on. After a while he wanted to move on, and Bapak told him in the first place to go to Palembang. But after a year or eighteen months in Palembang he no longer felt happy there either. He asked Bapak where he should go next, and Bapak told him to move to Hong Kong.

Rofe had his profession, of course, which was writing for the press about his experiences and the things he saw. As he happened to have received Subud, he wrote an article about it for a paper circulating in Turkey and Cyprus. He was also fluent in Turkish.

There chanced to be a group of English people in Cyprus under the spiritual leadership of Mr. von Bissing and, later, of another specialist in this field named Meredith Starr [later Roland Starr, who died in latihan at his home in England while this talk was being prepared for press]. The latter must eventually have read Rofe's article, for Bapak received a letter from Cyprus bearing Meredith Starr's name and address. Bapak was astonished, for he had never had a letter from overseas. Well, here was a letter from overseas. Bapak opened it and had someone read it. Rofe was already in Hong Kong.

Bapak read the content of the letter: 'May I introduce myself - Meredith Starr. I devote myself to the search for spiritual knowledge, and I have read a magazine article by Husein Rofe in which he says that Bapak, who is his teacher, can give explanations of spiritual matters. As this is something I very much need, I hope Bapak will come to Cyprus and open me and instruct me'. Well, at that time the word 'open' was not in use - he said 'teach me'. It was signed Meredith Starr, and beneath the signature was written: 'If Bapak can indeed come and visit us in Cyprus, I will at once send the money to cover his expenses'.

When Bapak read this letter, he remembered Rofe who very much wanted to get back to England. So Bapak made a copy of the letter and sent it on to him, so that he might take up Mr. Starr's invitation to go to Cyprus. Then, of course, he would be quite near and could go back to England. To Mr. Starr himself Bapak wrote that he had forwarded his letter to Bapak's pupil, Husein Rofe, then in Hong Kong, because Rofe was actually English and wanted to return to England and could open the people in Cyprus. Bapak then received an answer from Rofe agreeing to go to Cyprus provided the money were sent to him. This was done, of course, and Rofe got his expenses. He then went to Cyprus, where he opened Meredith Starr and others.

Not long afterwards, Rofe wrote to tell Bapak that, by agreement with the people he had opened in Cyprus, he was going to England. He said Mr. Starr and the others would follow him to England, and they hoped Bapak, if he had the time, would accept an invitation to come there. Bapak was invited to come to England and expenses were at once sent to him. That was the beginning.

Bapak accepted the invitation, which clearly signified that human beings would provide Bapak with money, not God. That was how it was; as there was no way for God to give Bapak money, the Power of God induced people to do so.

Then Bapak went to England, where strangely enough there were people who knew why he had come, among them those then at Coombe Springs. Mr. Bennett happened to be holding a seminar at the time Bapak went to England. Well, that was very curious: something was going on that would never have occurred to one - there was a Gurdjieff seminar.

Because of this seminar, pupils of Gurdjieff from everywhere had of course come on a visit to England, to Coombe Springs. People had come from South Africa, from Ceylon, from Europe itself - Holland, Germany, France; and from North and South America - Chile and Peru. The Gurdjieff system was going along fairly well and its followers though not numerous, were widely distributed.

All this was quite by chance; Bapak had not reckoned on people from other countries outside England being there. He had not reckoned on it nor had such a possibility even occurred to him. So Bapak came to England and went in the first place to where Rofe lived, in a street whose name Bapak now forgets. And because the quarters were very cramped, very restricted, Bennett took Bapak to his house at Coombe Springs. Bapak opened all these people, because Starr and the others whom Rofe had opened asked for Bapak to open them again. So Bapak did as they wished.

On moving to Coombe Springs, Bapak conducted openings and did latihan with Bennett, von Bissing and others. The people attending the Gurdjieff seminar seemed to wonder how it came about that their master and guru now had a guru himself. They were rather puzzled, because they had come to visit Bennett, whom they trusted, and now Bennett had entered Subud. By implication, Bennett was in fact asking Bapak to teach him. 'Oh', they thought, 'this visitor must be someone higher still; it must be that'. So they asked Mr. Bennett's permission to join Subud too, and be opened. Bennett asked Bapak, telling him that the Gurdjieff people at the seminar were asking him if Bapak would allow them too to follow the latihan kejiwaan if they wished.

Bapak said they could, as the latihan was indeed for all mankind. As soon as Bapak gave permission, one, two, three, ten, twenty joined, and on to a hundred, two hundred. Bapak had an English visa for only three months to begin with, or maybe only for one month, or two. But because so many people at Coombe Springs were asking to be opened, until they numbered over a thousand, Bapak was obliged to extend his visa to seven months.

Thus, on his first visit, Bapak stayed in England for seven months on end; one might say he was opening people every evening while there. Every evening thirty or forty people were opened, sometimes a hundred, but at least thirty, forty, fifty. Well, Bapak had to stay for seven months, to make sure that the people from outside England really could in some degree receive and understand what the latihan kejiwaan of Subud was. After that Bapak went home again.

The people returning to their various countries after receiving the latihan probably felt it was very beneficial. Many did indeed say that this was what they had been looking for. From the people returning to their various homes, after Bapak had opened them, Subud began to spread; this was the cause of its spreading in other countries.

When Bapak experienced all this, he became convinced and was certain, whereas formerly, when he received the gift of knowing from God in 1932, he was still only half convinced. Well, yes, Bapak did believe, but was not yet truly convinced because he had not yet had the experience. But, in due course, Bapak experienced that all this was really true. What he had been told and what he received really did come to pass.

Amen. Bapak Muhammad-Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo

The End